Been absent from blogging longer and longer, it seems. Am still around; been busy here and there. Still knitting.
Truth is, Facebook has taken ahold of a chunk of the little time I have alloted between job, home, workouts, play and knitting. My problem is, if one iota of tasks from my to-do list gets neglected, I neglect the rest since obsessive/compulsive coupled with perfectionist attitude gets me all unglued.
Now that Spring is here with more sunshine ushered in, I actually am angry that it is finally here. Usually, I look forward to Spring. This time around, all there is are the tons of chores spring-cleaning brings and waiting for me to accomplish.
Deep inside, I’m rebelling. Rebelling from years of doing chores, being all-perfect and well-organized. All I want is to do nothing, except read, knit, dance and eat. And the urge to do nothing but fun stuffs go against the mantra from growing up Catholic: idle hands are the devil’s workshop (something to that effect).
With all this stupid turmoil within me, I’m psycho-analysing this as some kind of depression. I fear depression. How could it be depression when I’m actually functioning? Am I just overwhelmed with the tasks I have at hand? Should I hire someone to help me clean around?
Do you see this dilemma I have? Do people go through such rut I’m going through, when life at the moment is actually all hunky dory? Why miserable when other people are actually having real physical hardship in their lives compared to mine? Am I going nuts seriously analyzing absolutely superficial nothings? Have I been afflicted with reality-tv syndrome of creating fluff over nothing?
Well, writing these feelings down actually made me feel a little better and sillier. I will now stop whining and go on with the everyday life. Every Springtime is a renewal. So really, I just dumped all the cr*pped-out feelings here and now ready to move on.
